Thursday, March 3, 2011

Lone Wolf

So my friend was learning how to read tarot and I had him (how does one phrase this?) read me? do a reading? Whatever? (I have thoughts on tarot--informed by His Dark Materials and also my mom's unexpected interest in astrology--about the symbols and predictions being vague enough that you can bring your own meaning to it, that it's a way to organize your thoughts and feelings...anyway.) Among other things, he told me that people think of me as a lone wolf. I'd never put it that way, but it makes sense--I'm hesitant to join the crowd, particularly when I'm not comfortable, and my social anxiety comes out sometimes as standoffish-ness. And there's that wolf t-shirt I wear occasionally...

So this last week (James and I broke up, which is what the 30 Rock quote eluded to as obliquely as possible: I'm ok, or will be or whatever, but still sort of shell-shocked and weepy) my impulse has been to retreat even further into myself, but I've been constantly surprised and humbled and [made grateful] by the kids around me reaching out--I've gotten sweet emails and invites to get pedicures and to watch Glee (love) and even just to chat and hang out and whatever. Like people have been really above-and-beyond good and thoughtful.

And I feel alone sometimes, just in my life. This week, as really knee-deep crappy as it's been, has also been a great reminder that I'm not. Alone. Invisible. Whatever.

So thanks to all of you.

(And you don't have to send condolencey comments. Though I'd love to hear from you in other capacities. :) )


  1. Since you introduced me to Adele, I would like to remind you of her song "Someone like you". Love you! Is that too condolency? I can't help it!

  2. Oh, Kjerstin, haven't you seen the Mormonad? "You are never alone" ;) And sorry I haven't been there for you more. You know I think you rock.