I had an epiphany today.
Let me back up: I'm trying to put my life together is the context of this post. Jobs? Relationships? Life after Provo?
I was starting to think about how to make decisions today and the advice that Booth gives to researchers about starting research with a question--for to better sort through all the sources and decide what to read and what not to read and what to include and what not to include came to mind. The quote:
The point: if you don't have focus, everything seems applicable and nothing actually is.
It's the Cheshire Cat situation in other words, right? If you don't know where you're going it doesn't matter the path you take.
In other words: what is the research question (or, dare I hope, the thesis statement) of my life? There's no way to tell if a decision is good/useful or a bad unless I have some sort of criteria or end goal to measure it by.
Why is this an epiphany, now, at 28? Because, I'll be honest here, I was going to have babies by now. And it seemed sort of profligate to make grand assertions about the path my life would take when at any moment my life could be commandeered by some fellow with other plans and tiny dependent humans. And other people seem to do just fine managing the flexibility necessary to this kind of plan, I'll take responsibility for me kind of just being noncommittal and also anxious.
Ok. But now I know. So what's it going to be, this thesis of my life? This path I want to follow? [terrified and exultant screech here]