Sunday, May 8, 2011

Best of the Week

This was another mellow, good week. The best, though, I think, was a bike ride James and I took down to Utah Lake. I told him I wanted to go somewhere beautiful, and the blue skies and greening fields and the sun on the lake, oh and the spring-smelling air (Provo smells *so* delicious in the spring) was just hard enough and just great.

Soo ready for summer.


Thursday, May 5, 2011

the grumble of my heart

So my sister has turned me onto this show:

And of course it's addictive and *perfect* and also of course it's drama-ed up for TV appeal, but it's also been a great reminder of something I need to keep in mind in this whole finding myself/a job situation: things that you love you also, often, hate. That is, if you're willing to let yourself really love something and get invested in it, it is automatically demanding and also hard work: you're attached to your ideas and your method, you've spent time and energy putting things together, it's frustrating (which feels, from the outside, a lot like hard).

I forget. And. I invest in stuff. I am not an easygoing person. I have opinions and I think hard about things and I get riled up real fast...

I guess this is a reminder that I'm not going to find something easy to dedicate my life to, or that I don't get to be passionate about something I'm not also willing to be really pissed over. It's double-edged, this love thing (which, p.s., sounds all kinds of exhausting).

And a reminder that it's worth it, probably? (What I wouldn't give for a crow bar and a budget, gah!)


Monday, May 2, 2011

Thinking of you (letters to people who will never read them):

Dear Janice--
The Fleet Foxes are playing Red Butte Garden this summer. If you were still in Utah, and you know, circumstances were different, we could go. I can imagine you going for sure. Picnic basket, stuffed olives, boys, the works. It's going to be *awesome*.

Dear Tina--
I bought some spandex-y workout capris a couple of weeks ago. I don't look half as good in them as you did (your 5 kids notwithstanding), but I think of you every time I slide them on.

that's it.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Best of the Week

This summer's a toughy: anxiety about my life and monsters of one form or another nibbling at my ears. Toward the end of the week I was so exhausted thinking about and avoiding it all that I could hardly get out of bed.

But I did. And headed down to central Utah for my first canyoneering trip. This stuff is James' bread and butter and it was a lot of fun to scurry up and down and around the slot canyons. The icey, dark dip we took toward the end (we were all of us making inhuman noises and sprinting for the sun) was less fun, but still awesome.

Awesome was what I needed too: huge blue sky, ridiculously gorgeous landscape, some good challenging adventure. It's weird/great how feeling tiny and tired can help your feet back on the ground.