On Friday I went with James to our ward's Elders Quorum v. YM pinewood derby. James was busy with his thesis (progress! He's sent a draft in and we're feeling great about it) so didn't have tons of time to put a car together, but also he intentionally went low effort--if it wins, we only spent 15 minutes on it, and if it loses we only spent 15 minutes on it. This is solid logic, but I was a little stressed--offering to paint it or wrap it in a page of his thesis or something. For some reason I imagined this conversation taking place between 15 year old James and 15 year old Kjerstin, which helped put it in perspective (I have some glitter!). We had a great ROI--we usually took about 3rd place, but we couldn't win against the fellows with CO2 cartridges strapped to their blocks.

Wood block, 2 lb dive weight, rubber bands, and last-minute graphite lube.

On Saturday we made soft eggs with buttery herb-gruyere toast and raspberry macaroons, because Smitten Kitchen is taking over my life right now (more approachable than 101 Cookbooks, always witty and delicious) and it was conference weekend=an excuse for an event. Then we spent a lot of hours watching conference (so much about family this time around!), took a walk, washed some dishes.

This week we also saw Jonah Lehrer speak in downtown Madison. I wanted to be blown away but wasn't. I know Lehrer from RadioLab--he's the sort of intellectual who mixes nueroscience with, like, Bob Dylan and comes away with some lovely meditations on the human brain and sometimes humanity. I love this stuff. I listen to RadioLab a lot a lot and fit it into most extended conversations--what I mean is, I think it's cool to mix and match art and science. We did come away with some good pointers: 1. Give kids a lot of latitude in choosing where they want to excel. He said "Choose easy, Work hard" which is, figure out what kids (you) are excited about--decide to do the thing that sounds like the most fun, and then work work work. I've heard this before, and I like it. 2. Aha moments come when you're not expecting them to come, but we're pretty good at knowing when there's something on it's way.
Yes. It was a fun night out. That ended at Trader Joe's. Win and win.

One other thing: I married a really lovely man. James and I have had an awesome week, I think mostly because I've had a chance to take care of him and serve him a little. I'm wary of the "love is an action verb" cliche, but it's a real thing: love is born out of helping--doing laundry and dishes and reading over rough drafts even though a part of you is still *very* conflicted about reading over rough drafts. Conference and a blessing and some good snuggly conversation later and I'm feeling hopeful and excited about our future. And, more than that even, confident that I'm only going to get more excited about our future as time goes on.
All of that paragraph was true, but what I really wanted to write about it how lucky I feel that James has found and is pursuing his passion. I'm surrounded by a lot of people who are smart and motivated but who aren't here for the passion, but every night I get to go home and talk with James about theories and big names in his field and his big ideas for making the field (and families) better. For someone who's spent her whole life flip-flopping dissatisfied-ly from aspiration to aspiration, James' focus and enthusiasm is so satisfying. I'm looking forward to our future, in part, because though I don't know what's coming I know that we're looking in the right direction. 

Loves,
keb

This week started great and ended great. There were some rough patches in the middle (like, for instance, the entire middle, which I spent in Detroit), but that's how it goes I think.

The run-down:
Last Sunday we had a really good conversation about what our goals are and what we're doing and can do to accomplish those goals (thus the cryptic email). James is a really good man. I'm really glad I'm married (at all and to him). We have a lot of things to learn, but I think that's sort of the point.

Detroit wasn't actually bad at all. I did some presentations. I ate some delicious food. My customer team is awesome and the weather was *amazing*.

James got some good work done on his thesis. Go James go! It's been rough/is still rough, but I think we're getting some good momentum.

We had the missionaries over for dinner Friday. J made Massaman (his specialty. Very delicious.) And the elders are very nice and awesome. I'm a big fan.

Yesterday we went on a lovely run (separately because I learned to run by myself and because J eats marathons for breakfast which stresses me out). We run by corn fields and forest and cow pasture and lake. Wisconsin is crazy beautiful.

Not all the way ready for Monday, but getting there. The end.

Ideal blogging conditions:
Evening. Solitude. Headphones+tunes. An unpleasant and not entirely overwhelming task at hand. And here we are. :)

A story I'd like to tell: a friend of mine is a wonderful poet. She started writing seriously about the same time I did, but unlike me, she kept writing seriously through an MA and an MFA and a lot of applying to a lot of programs. And now she's on her way to law school.
And I think it's safe to say, even if she's reading this (hey there eg), that she isn't or wasn't, like, the kind of off-hand stereotype of a poet at all. Like, she's all business. Like she came to poetry via editing. Law school is an incredible fit and she'll be wonderful at it and if you would've asked me, when I first knew her, where she'd be right now I'd choose law school over poetry any day.
And both parts of her are important, and the one enlightens and brightens and adds interest to the other I think, in a really satisfying way.

The reason I'm telling you this story (which kind of isn't mine to tell) is because I've been feeling the tug of the inexorable lately and this story really brought that tug to light. I feel like on my way to getting where I want to go right now, in feeling out the way, my (our, now) path is swerving back to my beginnings.
And where a year or two or five ago I would've resisted this, I would've, maybe, applied for graduate school instead of sticking with teaching, for instance, or even moved to Salt Lake for a year instead of going on a BYU study abroad, I'm seeing something really sustaining and beautiful and firm and true about circling back, about shedding some of the layers--no, that's not it--because I don't regret the roundabout way I took--but, having the experience I do and having developed the perspective I have, I feel really ready to take on the roots of me. To start to embrace the life I was presented with 10 years ago and start living that life.

The end.

boringtitleweekinreviewblahblahblah

So, to start: I hear it's snowing in Utah. Here in the midwest, we've been enjoying freakishly unseasonable weather. We're supposed to get up near 80 this week. It's been wonderful: windows open, summer-dress wearing, barbeque-smelling wonderful. It will snow again, but for now, I'm basking.

Yesterday we celebrated the season by vacuuming, dusting, and washing the winter out of our little apartment.

We're also getting a foot-up on gardening for the summer (I get a little garden plot through work, and I'm anxious to get my peas in) and are pretty stoked for our (very small) basil starts:

Last weekend was a little more festive, we went out to Racine (about 2 hours east) with our friends Amanda and Frank. We were looking for good rye bread for Frank who's here for a couple of semesters from Denmark (Racine is supposed to have a huge Danish community). The closest we came was some sort of suspect (also some sort of delicious) pastry.

We also stopped off at a lighthouse on Lake Michigan. It was windy and a little chilly and a lot of beautiful.

Finally: Did you guys know that acorn squash came in *miniature*?

They do. And are adorable. And delicious with lentils.

Bullet Blog

(Annie, I'm stealing it.)

• Here are some pictures of our house:

The kitchen

 Our hallway!

 And the living room

 James is apologizing that it's messy. But it's a little messy.

We love our little place. It's two bedrooms above a mom, her boy, and their cat. It's little and cute and has some personality, and was redone by a bachelor with ok taste, so the carpet's nice and the kitchen's tiled and the walls are neutral. Sort of the perfect scenario. Oh, and the rent is good.

We live in the downtown-ish part of Mt. Horeb, just a block behind Main St. Our front door looks onto a little lane/alley that our neighbors backyards open onto, so in the summer we have great views of gardens and backyards (also parking lots).

• We made this cool thing: 

 

What happened was that I fell in love with this upside-down planter and bought it on sort of a whim. When it came in the mail, it was much smaller than I anticipated, so looked a little funny just hanging by itself (a group of them would be very cool). Also James was worried about the integrity of our ceilings which, to be fair, are plastery and occasionally questionable). So we put our heads (and James' Christmas drill) together and came up with this. I like looking at it so much And what you maybe can't see is the way the bark nestles right up against the pine block. So polished-looking.

• So there are recipes, and there are recipes. The first are good for, you know, a little out-of-the boxing and they're fine and whatever. On the other hand are those recipes that, like, change the way you look at food: like the time I made this Colombian chicken soup that had me mixing beef and chicken stock and cumin and thyme for the next year. Or this recipe. Dill and horseradish? Horseradish and sour cream? Why had this never happened before? In my mouth? We made them for Christmas dinner (paired with ham because I couldn't resist) and ever since every potato I eat has horseradish and sour cream and dill
• Our house has a ladybug infestation. I didn't know this was possible, but these guys are all over the place.

The end.

Detroit!

So I have been staffed, which means I've been assigned to a customer (hospital/hospital group) which means that I know a lot more about what the next several months/up to two years of my life is going to look like. And it's going to look a lot like Detroit.

Which is wonderful and fascinating. And, yes, a little dangerful and sketchy. We were walking back to the hotel (in a large-ish group) after dinner the other night, almost lost and sort of worried about it, but mostly there was nothing: only a very few cars and a very few other people. And this in the heart of this beautiful city--traffic circles with statues and boulevards that used to be lined with huge picture windows, now bricked in, windows replaced with brick and glass blocks and bars, or boarded up and over.

The hospital downtown is an exception--a sort of epicenter of activity and productivity. I'm glad to be helping support such a productive spot.

Because 1: I've been thinking about production and revitalization. Like, I watched Provo trying to rebirth itself, hopefully at first (galleries! and restaurants!), then less and less so. Because, and whatever, this is a little draconian, people don't *need* art. Or they do, but only when they have jobs first. Recreation is only meaningful/useful/important when actual creation (of the things you need and food and jobs) is taken care of I think. It's the principle of the sabbath--work work work so when you rest the rest is legit. I guess I think that real productive business--business that produces things (read that however) that people *need* trumps pretend business (galleries/restaurants/the MGM Grand, which by the way didn't bring tourists into downtown Detroit but did bring a casino, which is obviously an awesome decision) any day of the week.
I guess this is a place where Ayn Rand stuck with me: produce things! Real things!
And I read/heard an article about Detroit, about a woman who started a luxury lifestyle magazine that went under a year after she started it but how she's been hired by a consulting firm to talk about how to draw people to Detroit. Like starting coffeeshops and things.
And I'm ranting/simplifying. The moral: I trust reallife production over faking the fruits of reallife production any day of the week.

And 2: Detroit is very real and compelling. I'm super exited to be there.

Oh, and 3: it's a 40 minute flight from Madison.

In other news: I skipped out on work sick early Friday, reached a temp of 104 yesterday, spent some time in the ER (mostly because everything else was closed of a Saturday night) getting anti-bodied up. A kidney thing. The good news: I'm mostly better. We have *awesome* health insurance. And there's no bad news really. James is the very nicest and most supportive, up to and including going on a 6:30 OJ and tylenol run in the snow.

And James has found some good leads on places to get some hours. That man has hustle. The thesis is still looming (for both of us) but. We'll finish.

So. Life is happening and good and new all the time. Dig it.

Birthday Week!

This week was my birthday! I turned 29 which is both weird and fine.

James brought me breakfast in bed, we got Mongolian BBQ (which felt *awesome* in my congested drippy head. I couldn't even taste anything, just the burning.)

On Saturday we went to breakfast with some friends and saw Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy which was perfectly made and made me nostalgic for a childhood I never had but which I think my dad wanted me to have? It was very pretty and got me writing about Dennis. And also was just a perfectly made period spy film.

In other news: my job started for real this week. I was sort of in training for the last 4 months because I wasn't assigned to a customer. This week I met some of my customer counterparts and met with the coworkers I'll be working with. It's really nice to be doing real things, and things that I feel pretty comfortable doing.

Aaaand...James and I joined a gym and have been running again which feels great.
And we took out the Christmas tree.
And James is making good progress on the thesis.

So a good week. And we're happy and like you all.

Loves,
ke.